So, I left my last job about a week ago.
And, I am the type to disappear without a word. I did disappear often as a child– moving without saying anything, going off to a new school without trying to keep connection to people.
However, things feel different now.
I felt like I couldn’t leave without telling a lot of people I was going. I told quite a few, but many were still left out and I couldn’t help feeling bad that I didn’t update them on what I was doing or where I was going…Which sounds really self-centered, but I don’t know. With Facebook and Twitter nowadays, you can’t eat your dinner without sharing it first.
Awhile ago these #iwokeuplikethis hashtags were going around because Beyoncé is fantastic.
But, I mean, can’t a person spend the first five minutes of their day alone anymore? Can’t I live one day of my life without a request from some long lost connection to join a game I will never ever play?
I’ve been thinking about getting rid of Facebook for a few months now simply because I feel like all I see is nothingness or political fights all day. Not to say everyone’s life is boring, because it’s not. I just feel like I spend hours, literal hours, of my life looking at selfies and status updates and it’s just to know that something is happening in other peoples’ lives. Meanwhile, I am accomplishing nothing. It’s like giving yourself a pat on the back for stalking all of your friends, family, and acquaintances.
I used to think I was staying connected to friends and family on Facebook, but I do not remember the last time I sent anything to anyone other than people I see everyday anyway.
But, then I feel like I have to keep my Facebook because people will want to see my graduation photos or what I did this summer. But, no. If they really did they would ask for them or they would have been there.
Facebook is just me trying to feel better about being involved in peoples’ lives. But, I’m really just wasting hours I could be spending with people I love or doing literally anything else to be productive.
I think we all feel this way– we feel entitled to each others’ personal information and photos and statuses simply because we want to feel like we are trying without actually trying.
Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve wanted to just be with the people I love and I don’t want to waste time staring at pictures or statuses when I could be a better friend or support to those people.
As we have made almost everything else in our lives more time efficient, the one thing we will never be able improve upon is that human connection. It sure can be slow, but when it is done well, it can outlast any other connection we can make.