My husband recently got into this show where this guy continually dies over and over again.
How does that even happen?
What is my husband even watching?
Why did I watch all 23 episodes with him?
This guy keeps dying, but he wakes up the previous day and no one remembers what happened but him.
Which is great when he makes a mistake in a relationship or someone he love dies.
He can just start over and stop it from happening. But, no one sees any of this sacrifice. And all of the memories he has with people he loves are lost to all but him.
And it is extremely frustrating. He tries and tries so hard to show people he cares and wants to help- but it can all be erased in an instant.
And, I feel like so many things have been erased this year for a lot of us.
We see Brock Turner rape an unconscious woman and get out of county jail after three months, THEN, get on Twitter and blame her for his rough times.
We see two horrible United States presidency candidates take the stage- ready to ruin the country.
We see ISIS. We see bombs landing on Syrian children. We see hate crimes against African Americans, Women, Palestinians, and LGBTQAA leaders and youth.
We see student loans destroy credit, or kids give up going to school at all.
We start from zero every day–many of us.
And we did everything right.
We got good grades, we got a job, and we went to school.
And we are stuck working two jobs to pay for rent– let alone food, gas, insurance, student loans or tuition.
And it’s hard to keep hope when you work so hard to make it by and you see children die in Syria on Facebook and hear threats of nuclear war in Korea. When barely making it by is lucky in the world, it’s hard to see the bright side.
At one point, this man from the show asks someone in his life to run away with him to the mountains. He can’t bear to see the war in the land– to watch his friends die and to have them forget all they have been through when he dies and comes back that previous morning. He can’t take losing everything again and again.
And although I’m sure few of us could imagine losing those you love over and over again…
It still hurts to look at our world…
To watch humanity still get up every morning and go to war over things as idiotic as ethnicity or difference of religion.
To watch humanity live every single day the same as the last– with pain and suffering and hate.
But, I try to remember, that some people do sacrifice everything. Some people give knowing some may never know what they did- or even appreciate their kindness.
This guy’s friend he asked to run away with him tells him that he is not the type to give up– that giving up does not suit him. And she could not run away with him– because the friend she loves wouldn’t run away from a fight.
And so, as I tire everyday– seeing the horrors that exist because humanity exists.
I also try to remember that passion driven by love– the love that exists because humanity exists.
So, as 9/11 passes again.
I try not to remember the planes. I try not to remember the terror.
I try to remember the people who carried others out of the building.
I try to remember the way we all united. The way we all loved each other. The way in which we cried for strangers.
And, yes, tomorrow for the world at large will probably be the same.
But, I can try to make the people I come in contact with tomorrow a bit happier.
I can stand up and fight.
I can feel righteous anger that fuels me to love all people.
Righteous anger that presses me to be different than the world at large.
And I will never stop being angry- because the second I stop being angry is the second I stopped caring– about the world, about my family, about my friends.
So stay angry. Angry enough to change.
Angry enough to never lose hope.
Angry enough to start from zero.